Rachel checked in by a blog comment to inquire as to why I haven't been posting. Well, I sure wish I could say it's because I just returned from a cruise but it's actually because of pain. I hurt my sciatica about 6 weeks ago and I have been in a lot of pain and it's the worst when I sit at my desk chair! So I haven't written much. I sure appreciate her noticing and writing.
Any meds I've taken haven't helped a whole lot so I'm taking some more aggressive medication (starting today) and doing chiropractic and soon physical therapy. This is a long term problem for me, about 9 years and I'm hoping that I can get back to controlling it more. It has flared up in the past but not to this degree.
So, sorry for my message of woe but God has used it to teach me that I can choose joy even in the midst of pain. Not that I'm that good at it but I know He's there to help me. So please pray for healing but also for strength to choose joy.
I also have more compassion for some loved ones in my life who are in constant pain. I relate! It's no fun. So if that's you, my heart goes out to you.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Editorial or Report?
My house was a disaster after Darcy left on Sunday with 2-year-old Raphael. I much prefer paying attention to that little guy than cleaning up after us. Doing dishes so we have silverware for eating is the only necessary thing. And playing Scrabble with Darcy while Raffi is napping. Hey, that's the life!
So after they left, I knew it was time on Monday to work. But my sciatic nerve was acting up and I really wanted to just lay down in a funk of sadness that it was lonely around her. But Larry had mentioned, "Boy, this house is a mess!" He seemed uncomfortable and the message to me was, "Get hopping and clean this up!"
Well, the Lord was gracious. I had time to have a devotional time with the Lord, lay on the heating pad, and space out cleaning. At the end of the day, I was shocked to see how much had been done. I really attributed it to putting the Lord first with my time with Him. The rest of the day seemed like it went by slowly and things cleaned up easily.
Larry commented that everything had cleaned up fast. And I said, "Well, you sounded uncomfortable when you commented about the mess." He looked shocked. "I did?" Then he said, "Honey, I was reporting not editorializing."
We looked at each other and we both laughed. What a great distinction! I thought Larry was editorializing: giving his opinion about something he didn't like. But he was only reporting--he was just commenting. He was just making an observation and reporting the situation. And he was indeed correct.
Our conversation reminded me of an interaction very early in our marriage. We were at Gemco (remember Gemco?) which is like Target. I saw a little case that would hold earrings. Just what I could use and had been in the back of my mind. Yeah! I pointed it out to Larry and he immediately said, "You don't need that!"
I crumbled. Since this was within the first year of our marriage, we were both very new in learning each other's "bents." We also had not learned "Different isn't necessarily wrong." So when Larry said that I hesitated. Shouldn't I submit to my husband as the Bible says? But I knew I could really use this item and it was only a few dollars.
In a bit of what seemed like rebellion, I grabbed it and bought it. I felt disobedient but I used that case until the felt crumbled inside it.
For a long time, I felt guilty about that and years later mentioned it to Larry with a laugh. Larry said something like, "Kathy, I wasn't telling you not to get it, I was just giving my opinion. It was fine that you bought it." OH??? I was surprised. Is that what was happening? (By the way, since then I've learned that Larry's personality is to have an opinion about everything even if he knows nothing about it--like an earring case).
Then I realized he hadn't given me a command, he was just offering his opinion. Since then I've asked him, "Are you giving me a command or just giving me your opinion (or preference)?"
In marriage, these two principles have helped us and guess what? Last Saturday we celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary.
So, maybe sometimes you'll need to ask:
"Are you editorializing or are you reporting?"
"Are you giving me a command or your opinion?"
I bet it'll give you some grace in your marriage.
So after they left, I knew it was time on Monday to work. But my sciatic nerve was acting up and I really wanted to just lay down in a funk of sadness that it was lonely around her. But Larry had mentioned, "Boy, this house is a mess!" He seemed uncomfortable and the message to me was, "Get hopping and clean this up!"
Well, the Lord was gracious. I had time to have a devotional time with the Lord, lay on the heating pad, and space out cleaning. At the end of the day, I was shocked to see how much had been done. I really attributed it to putting the Lord first with my time with Him. The rest of the day seemed like it went by slowly and things cleaned up easily.
Larry commented that everything had cleaned up fast. And I said, "Well, you sounded uncomfortable when you commented about the mess." He looked shocked. "I did?" Then he said, "Honey, I was reporting not editorializing."
We looked at each other and we both laughed. What a great distinction! I thought Larry was editorializing: giving his opinion about something he didn't like. But he was only reporting--he was just commenting. He was just making an observation and reporting the situation. And he was indeed correct.
Our conversation reminded me of an interaction very early in our marriage. We were at Gemco (remember Gemco?) which is like Target. I saw a little case that would hold earrings. Just what I could use and had been in the back of my mind. Yeah! I pointed it out to Larry and he immediately said, "You don't need that!"
I crumbled. Since this was within the first year of our marriage, we were both very new in learning each other's "bents." We also had not learned "Different isn't necessarily wrong." So when Larry said that I hesitated. Shouldn't I submit to my husband as the Bible says? But I knew I could really use this item and it was only a few dollars.
In a bit of what seemed like rebellion, I grabbed it and bought it. I felt disobedient but I used that case until the felt crumbled inside it.
For a long time, I felt guilty about that and years later mentioned it to Larry with a laugh. Larry said something like, "Kathy, I wasn't telling you not to get it, I was just giving my opinion. It was fine that you bought it." OH??? I was surprised. Is that what was happening? (By the way, since then I've learned that Larry's personality is to have an opinion about everything even if he knows nothing about it--like an earring case).
Then I realized he hadn't given me a command, he was just offering his opinion. Since then I've asked him, "Are you giving me a command or just giving me your opinion (or preference)?"
In marriage, these two principles have helped us and guess what? Last Saturday we celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary.
So, maybe sometimes you'll need to ask:
"Are you editorializing or are you reporting?"
"Are you giving me a command or your opinion?"
I bet it'll give you some grace in your marriage.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Reserved For...
I drove into the church's parking lot to deliver our valley's Christian newsletter to a church new to me. There in the parking lot were two signs by the parking spaces closest to the front of the church. "Reserved for Pastor ____" and next to it, "Reserved for Sister _____" (same last name, obviously the Pastor's wife).
I smiled in amusement and immediately thought, "The first shall be last and the last shall be first."
Is there anything wrong with what I saw? Most likely not. After all, before we moved I attended a mega church where a whole section of the parking lot near the offices was reserved for pastors and staff. Reasonable.
But picture this church's parking lot. It's less than 30 parking spaces. If you park farthest away, you walk maybe 300 paces. But hey, maybe there's very good reasons for this, I don't know.
Is this a big deal? No! But I smiled in amusement for so often we in subtle ways live out "The first shall be first and the last--too bad!" Can I think of something right now? Well, maybe the next time someone is trying to get out of a parking lot into crowded traffic, I could let them sneak in front of me (and risk the scowl of the person in the car behind me). Maybe the next time someone cuts me off, I can resist getting upset. Maybe the next time service at the restaurant is slow, I can be gracious.
Is God glorified through those things? Well, no one knows I'm a Christian so He doesn't get credit. But at the least, it's molding me into a more patient person and who knows, if I say, "God bless you" to the waiter, he'll notice (especially if I give a generous tip!)
The first will be last and the last will be first. Something to consider for our walk with Jesus.
I smiled in amusement and immediately thought, "The first shall be last and the last shall be first."
Is there anything wrong with what I saw? Most likely not. After all, before we moved I attended a mega church where a whole section of the parking lot near the offices was reserved for pastors and staff. Reasonable.
But picture this church's parking lot. It's less than 30 parking spaces. If you park farthest away, you walk maybe 300 paces. But hey, maybe there's very good reasons for this, I don't know.
Is this a big deal? No! But I smiled in amusement for so often we in subtle ways live out "The first shall be first and the last--too bad!" Can I think of something right now? Well, maybe the next time someone is trying to get out of a parking lot into crowded traffic, I could let them sneak in front of me (and risk the scowl of the person in the car behind me). Maybe the next time someone cuts me off, I can resist getting upset. Maybe the next time service at the restaurant is slow, I can be gracious.
Is God glorified through those things? Well, no one knows I'm a Christian so He doesn't get credit. But at the least, it's molding me into a more patient person and who knows, if I say, "God bless you" to the waiter, he'll notice (especially if I give a generous tip!)
The first will be last and the last will be first. Something to consider for our walk with Jesus.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Let's Not Take God's Nature For Granted
Today, I finish my month-long study of Micah. It's been a rich treat. Tomorrow, I'll head back into the New Testament to study 1 Corinthians.
As I studied Micah 7, verses 18-19 really spoke to me:
Who is a God like you, (The Message writes this: Where is the god who can compare with you—)
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.
You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
I think it's so easy to take for granted God's fabulous attributes. Micah was talking to the Israelites who were being judged for worshiping other gods. Those fake gods weren't like God, who is forgiving, etc. Those fake gods, having been devised and created by people, were mean, unknowable, didn't forgive and were undependable. You never knew whether you had satisfied and pleased them or not.
But our God, the true God, isn't like that. We can be assured of His forgiveness, mercy, and compassion. Yet we allow false gods of perfectionism, materialism, anger strategies, and a host of other strategies (like bitterness, resentment, hate, contempt, people pleasing) control us. Those false gods aren't nice and we never feel satisfied or understood. Why would we want gods like that, anyway? Because we create them-- because we can control them.
But God isn't quite as controllable. I was just reminded of my sister, Karen's wisdom about God's true workings and nature. Some time ago, I realized God didn't want me to be "off sugar." And I tried to figure out how to manage my sugar addiction if I allowed myself to have it again. I told her, "Well, maybe I'll only allow myself to have sugar twice a week."
She gently replied, "Well, maybe rather than trying to control the situation, you could minute by minute ask God what He wants you to do."
Duh! Of course. I saw my god of control popping up in me pre-deciding how I would manage my sugar. That's worshiping a false god.
But our true God is forgiving, understanding, and empowering. And if I eat too much sugar, He is ready and willing to forgive me and empower me for the next temptation.
(By the way, I haven't been very successful at asking Him to be in charge of my sugar eating. That's really tough for me.)
So, let's make a fresh commitment not to take for granted our wonderful God and all His tremendous qualities. We won't find any god like him. And we don't want any god except Him!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Take Care of My Little Lamb
As I was giving Audrey her shower this morning, I began to feel frustrated with the 75 times she wiped her eyes and face. (I'm not kidding). For no seeming reason :-) the 23rd Psalm came into my mind: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want..." At first I meditated on that first line but then I had a little mental image of the Master Shepherd handing me a little lamb (even though I'm a lamb--but a bigger one) and saying "I'm giving you the care of this little lamb FOR ME!"
I knew the analogy. Audrey is The Shepherd's little lamb. He has given Larry and I this fragile lamb to care for Him.
It didn't take away all my frustration as she rinsed under running water for fifteen minutes, but because of that image and as I keep surrendering with the concept, "I'm a servant. I have no rights, only preferences. I have no demands, only requests" (see post from several days ago), I'm falling at the feet of Jesus in surrender.
I knew the analogy. Audrey is The Shepherd's little lamb. He has given Larry and I this fragile lamb to care for Him.
It didn't take away all my frustration as she rinsed under running water for fifteen minutes, but because of that image and as I keep surrendering with the concept, "I'm a servant. I have no rights, only preferences. I have no demands, only requests" (see post from several days ago), I'm falling at the feet of Jesus in surrender.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
God Gives a Break
I remember noticing this back when studying Isaiah and it has continued in most of the minor prophetic books also. God goes back and forth between pointing out sin, giving consequences, and naming how they will be delivered in the future. Each of those three elements could be labeled on a juggler's balls and each time the juggler touches and then throws the ball, that element is included. Except that this juggler is so talented that he can keep one ball up in the air longer while the other two balls are tossed around. Because when God goes through those three elements in these prophetic books, they aren't in any particular order.
As I noticed this, I realized that if I were having these books written, I would have had a section, like a chapter, naming all the sins. Then when I'm done, I would name all the consequences, and then finally, all the good news for the future. The writer in me would organize everything together.
But God doesn't do that. It's as if He knows that if He went on and on, chapter after Biblical chapter about their sin, they might not read very far. And then for giving consequences, well, who's going to continue on reading not knowing that the future deliverance will be named?
So God juggles them in different orders and to prevent discouragement, the good news is wedged in between the bad news. Sounds like a good way of relating to people, especially in the area of counseling. Sprinkle in some good news; cast a vision of how good it can be from obedience; yet point out sin and its consequences too.
God knows how to do it.
As I noticed this, I realized that if I were having these books written, I would have had a section, like a chapter, naming all the sins. Then when I'm done, I would name all the consequences, and then finally, all the good news for the future. The writer in me would organize everything together.
But God doesn't do that. It's as if He knows that if He went on and on, chapter after Biblical chapter about their sin, they might not read very far. And then for giving consequences, well, who's going to continue on reading not knowing that the future deliverance will be named?
So God juggles them in different orders and to prevent discouragement, the good news is wedged in between the bad news. Sounds like a good way of relating to people, especially in the area of counseling. Sprinkle in some good news; cast a vision of how good it can be from obedience; yet point out sin and its consequences too.
God knows how to do it.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
"How Have I Wearied You?"--God
In Micah 6:3, God says to the Israelites, "My people, what have I done to you,
And how have I wearied you? Answer Me" (NASB).
In The Message, Eugene Petersen rephrases it as, "Dear people, how have I done you wrong? Have I burdened you, worn you out? Answer!"
Today, God used that verse to bring me to the woodshed. I am like the Israelites in my complaint that God has done me wrong. In caring for Audrey, I'm deprived! I'm wearied. I'm worn out. I'm burdened by the burden God has placed upon me.
Then God answers them and me:
"I delivered you from a bad life in Egypt;
I paid a good price to get you out of slavery.
I sent Moses to lead you—
and Aaron and Miriam to boot!
Remember what Balak king of Moab tried to pull,
and how Balaam son of Beor turned the tables on him.
Remember all those stories about Shittim and Gilgal.
Keep all God's salvation stories fresh and present." (Micah 6:3-4 The Message).
In my study, I found out what each of those references meant for them and for me:
1. paid a good price: The lambs were slaughtered at Passover to save the first born males. Jesus died for me to pay for my sins, saving me from sin and eternal damnation.
2. Moses: Moses represents the Law. I am not obligated to keep the jot and tittle of the Law; instead, I have my position in Christ as a Daughter of the King--as a gift, not earned.
3. Aaron: represents the priesthood. I am a priest in my own right--able to come before the very throne of God.
4. Miriam: could represent worship, because of the songs she sang. My worship is acceptable to God and lifts me into the holy of holies.
5. Balak and Balaam: Balak wanted Balaam to curse the Israelites but God protected the Israelites by causing Balaam to pronounce a blessing instead. I am protected from Satan's accusations and curses and have power to resist his attacks.
6. journey from Shittim to Gilgal: is the route the Israelites took as they went into the Promised Land. I also am on a journey of progress, not perfection, in my sanctification.
God points all these things out as His testimony that He hasn't wearied, burdened or worn out the people. Those are all false accusations. Instead, He has time after time provided for and protected them. And He has done the same for me. I never would have thought I could stand having a demented woman living in my house for 2 years, accusing me of trying to kill her and indicating I don't care for her well. I'm not doing it perfectly, but boy, is God using it to sanctify me!
Today as I had a woodshed time with God (where He waps me on the side of the heart), it was as if God said, "How have I wearied you? Don't I have the right to do anything I want with my servant--you!!!? I do nothing apart from love, care, faithfulness, and tenderness. I won't break a broken reed."
I was humbled because I saw my complaints as what they really are: rebellion against the hand of God. Those are strong words, I know. But it's true. And I concluded:
I have no rights, only preferences.
I have no demands, only requests.
I am the servant, He is the master.
I am His.
The joy and freedom and surrender I'm feeling cannot be matched. I know I'll be tested and tried; but I hope I can remember this and reflect on all that God has faithfully done for me--like He called upon the Israelites to remember.
And how have I wearied you? Answer Me" (NASB).
In The Message, Eugene Petersen rephrases it as, "Dear people, how have I done you wrong? Have I burdened you, worn you out? Answer!"
Today, God used that verse to bring me to the woodshed. I am like the Israelites in my complaint that God has done me wrong. In caring for Audrey, I'm deprived! I'm wearied. I'm worn out. I'm burdened by the burden God has placed upon me.
Then God answers them and me:
"I delivered you from a bad life in Egypt;
I paid a good price to get you out of slavery.
I sent Moses to lead you—
and Aaron and Miriam to boot!
Remember what Balak king of Moab tried to pull,
and how Balaam son of Beor turned the tables on him.
Remember all those stories about Shittim and Gilgal.
Keep all God's salvation stories fresh and present." (Micah 6:3-4 The Message).
In my study, I found out what each of those references meant for them and for me:
1. paid a good price: The lambs were slaughtered at Passover to save the first born males. Jesus died for me to pay for my sins, saving me from sin and eternal damnation.
2. Moses: Moses represents the Law. I am not obligated to keep the jot and tittle of the Law; instead, I have my position in Christ as a Daughter of the King--as a gift, not earned.
3. Aaron: represents the priesthood. I am a priest in my own right--able to come before the very throne of God.
4. Miriam: could represent worship, because of the songs she sang. My worship is acceptable to God and lifts me into the holy of holies.
5. Balak and Balaam: Balak wanted Balaam to curse the Israelites but God protected the Israelites by causing Balaam to pronounce a blessing instead. I am protected from Satan's accusations and curses and have power to resist his attacks.
6. journey from Shittim to Gilgal: is the route the Israelites took as they went into the Promised Land. I also am on a journey of progress, not perfection, in my sanctification.
God points all these things out as His testimony that He hasn't wearied, burdened or worn out the people. Those are all false accusations. Instead, He has time after time provided for and protected them. And He has done the same for me. I never would have thought I could stand having a demented woman living in my house for 2 years, accusing me of trying to kill her and indicating I don't care for her well. I'm not doing it perfectly, but boy, is God using it to sanctify me!
Today as I had a woodshed time with God (where He waps me on the side of the heart), it was as if God said, "How have I wearied you? Don't I have the right to do anything I want with my servant--you!!!? I do nothing apart from love, care, faithfulness, and tenderness. I won't break a broken reed."
I was humbled because I saw my complaints as what they really are: rebellion against the hand of God. Those are strong words, I know. But it's true. And I concluded:
I have no rights, only preferences.
I have no demands, only requests.
I am the servant, He is the master.
I am His.
The joy and freedom and surrender I'm feeling cannot be matched. I know I'll be tested and tried; but I hope I can remember this and reflect on all that God has faithfully done for me--like He called upon the Israelites to remember.
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